office pets

Unlike spiders, fleas, cockroaches and other miscellaneous bugs Sea Monkeys make great office pets. Don't get me wrong, bugs are great but all it takes is one visit from the exterminator and its good bye fellas. Unlike spiders, fleas, cockroaches and other miscellaneous bugs Sea Monkeys are seemingly unaffected by bug spray, they don't bite or nibble on your secret stash of snacks in your bottom draw or even suck blood. The main problem is getting the buggers to hatch!

Tip #1 Don't try and hatch Sea Monkeys from a packet you found at the bottom of your wardrobe!

The key to successful Sea Monkey propagation is get yourself a fresh batch from your friendly neighborhood Toy Store or sea monkey distributor.

Tip #2 Stick to the standard tank version as the 'wank' factor associated with some of the more expensive models is overrated (and not suitable for a work environment) as they may detract from the overall excitement of having sea monkeys in the first place.

Once you have your monkeys at hand its a relatively simple process to hatch and grow them.

Tip #3 Follow the instructions carefully as failure to wait for the heavy metals in your office drinking water to be neutralized by the special monkey formula will result in tears (trust me).

Once they hatch, oh and they will hatch, you can sit and gaze at your office pets in wonderment for days on end.

Tip #4 Don't drink the office water. If Sea Monkeys won't grow in it, then should you really be drinking the stuff?

The best part of having Sea Monkeys as your choice of office pet is they require little if any maintenance, so you have more time for exchanging e-mails with your family and friends. A word of warning though, as tempting as it may seem putting sea monkeys in your work colleagues coffee is not a low calorie substitute for sugar.

Tip # 5 Ball games and sea monkeys are not compatible.

Oh and in between times you might want to do a bit of work occasionally or you might find that you no longer have an office for your pets.

the trouble with being healthy

The trouble with being healthy is that I have never been so sick. Despite placing my faith in a sausage roll cure there has been very little progress towards beating the dreaded cough. I can honestly say I have never, I say never been so crook for so long since at the advice of a health assessment I decided to live a healthy lifestyle. Maybe a long weekend of inhaling paint fumes will kill off any bugs remaining in my lungs or kill me, we shall see.

The positive side of living a healthy lifestyle combined with coughing for near on six weeks is I have managed to loose a quite a few kilos, although I have discovered that for the ladies, coughing like an three pack a day smoker is not a good look despite being more buff than before.